Urantia Readers International
PRAYERS
Even when the air currents are ascending, no bird can soar except by outstretched wings. Prayer elevates man because it is a
technique of progressing by the utilization of the ascending spiritual currents of the universe.

Dear Father, let harmony evolve out of chaos, beauty out of potentials, truth out of meanings, and goodness out of values.

O father, cleanse us from sin, show your glory, reveal your love, and let your spirit sanctify our hearts forevermore.

May we seek truth, beauty and goodness all our lives.

“The theologian may indulge the pleasing task of describing Religion as she descended from Heaven, arrayed in her native
purity.  A more melancholy duty is imposed on the historian.  He must discover the inevitable mixture of error and corruption
which she contracted in a long residence upon Earth, among a weak and degenerate race of beings.”
Dear Father, let harmony evolve out of chaos, beauty out of potentials, truth out of meanings, and goodness out of values.

O father, cleanse us from sin, show your glory, reveal your love, and let your spirit sanctify our hearts forevermore.

May we seek truth, beauty and goodness all our lives.

Prayer To Our Father

Our Father beyond space and time

We revere your name in all our earthly clime

May your spiritual realm be upon us

May your will continue to be our focus

Give us pathways to greater spirituality

And may your world be our ultimate finality

By Baker Jordan
RELIGIOUS HUMOR
The day comes that Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.  He walks up to the Pearly Gates and is met by St. Peter himself, who tells him,
"Well, Forrest, we're glad to see you; we have heard a lot about you.  I must tell you, however, that the place is filling up fast, so we now have
an entrance examination for everyone.  The test is short and you have to pass to get into Heaven.  You need to answer these three questions:

>   1. What days of the week begin with the letter "T"?
>   2. How many seconds are there in a year?
>   3. What is God's first name?
Forrest says, "Well, that first one, that's an easy one.  There are two of them:  Today and Tomorrow."  The saint's eyes open wide in surprise,
"Forrest, that's not what I expected, but... I'll give you credit for that answer.  Now what about the next question?"  Forrest says, "Now, that one
is harder, but I'd have to guess the answer is twelve."   Astounded, St. Peter answers him, "Twelve??   How could you think it is twelve?"  
Forrest starts counting on his fingers, "You got January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter, "I see where you're going with this, and I'll have to give you credit for this one, too.  Let's go on to the final
question, Forrest, to get into Heaven, can you tell me God's first name?"
"Sure," says Forrest, "it's Andy."  "Andy?!," exclaims the frustrated Good Saint, "I can understand how you came up with the first two answers,
but I cannot imagine how you could say Andy is the first name of God."   "Oh, shucks, that was the easiest one," says Forrest.....
ANDY WALKS WITH ME
ANDY TALKS WITH ME
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN
......

St. Peter opens the Pearly Gate, "Run, Forrest, run!"
PRAYERS
PRAYERS
A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started
working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.  He spotted a golden telephone on
the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read
"$10,000 a minute."

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven
and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in
Seattle, Austin, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same
answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in North Carolina. Upon entering a church in King, NC, behold, he saw the usual golden
telephone. But THIS time, the sign read
"Calls: 35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden
telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a
minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why? "I just love this part ----- The pastor, smiling benignly, replied,
"Son, you're in the South
now....It's a local call."
Baptist Dog

A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of  the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They
visited  kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they
wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. "Fetch the Bible," he commanded.
The dog bounded to the books helf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner. Now find Psalm 23," he
commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct
passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.

That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible
verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He
pointed his finger at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's
forehead and began to howl.

The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!